i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
