i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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