To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize