did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
