He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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