New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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