I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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