I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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