people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
