woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
