Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
