I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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