remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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