I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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