I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
