"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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