There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
