he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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