Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
