i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
