First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
