FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
