I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
