Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
