your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Your penis caused this!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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