I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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