she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
