I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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