Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
