moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
