i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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