her vagine was all disorganized.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
