this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
