i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
