Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
