So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Houston, we have a blender
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
