i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
