Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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