I just threw up on my dentist
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
