Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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