What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i would punch a child for taco bell
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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