yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
