hell yes lets make some ravioli
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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