singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
