So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
