he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
