he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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