420 ftw
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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