Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
