we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Mom said you looked used
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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